24 January 1999 The Malaysian icon, Tun Abdul Razak, suddenly died of leukemia in London on Jan 14 twenty three years ago. Because it was Razak's funeral on Jan 16, 1976, I did not hesitate to take my two young children - Adha, 7 and Hamida (Didi) 6 to the lying-in-state at the Parliament House. I wanted them to see how a grateful nation mourned and honoured a distinguished icon and statesman. There were not too many people in Malaysian public life then I would take my young son and daughter to see much less attend their funerals. I did not want to loose the opportunity to impress upon them that Razak was a great statesman. Even now there are few in public life I would take my grandchildren to see. The fond tribute the nation and Malaysians poured on Razak moved me to tears. Didi asked, "Why are you crying daddy? Do you like him? " I nodded. She and her brother gripped my hands and consoled me in their young way and manner. Thousand of Malaysians went to the Prime Minister's official residence, "Seri Perdana, in Taman Tasek and most pressed into the lounge where the body lay in their grief and longing to see Razak's body, which arrived from London the previous afternoon. The people filled fast him in the open coffin which only showed his face. Then it was closed and taken to Parliament for the lying-in-state where even more people paid their respects and then to Masjid Negara for prayers and burial. It had been rumoured that he was unwell for some time and recent pictures on TV had shown Razak gaunt ( a sign he had lost much weight) and desolate. Some time in November, Dr. Mahathir Mohamed then Education Minister asked me if I knew anything serious was the matter. He gave me his medical opinion. I then asked Razak about his health. He said I need not worry because he was only suffering from jaundice and all would be well after his treatment, which he was planning to have in London in December I was assured because in my long relationship with him, he had confided so many things to me. There was no reason to disbelieve him. The seriousness and the nature of his disease was a top state-secret, known only to one or two doctors and Tun Dr. Ismail bin Abdul Rahman, the Deputy Prime Minister, before Datuk Hussein Onn. Neither his family nor his senior and close aides and Hussein knew. Before he left for Paris for a brief holiday enroute to London in December, I had a long discussion with him in his study at Seri Taman. He told me I would be promoted (Minister of Information) in the cabinet reshuffle on Jan 26, 1976 and instructed me to do several things while he was away. The last time I spoke with him at the Subang International Airport when we shook hands at the steps before he boarded the plane. He looked into my eyes, his eyes twinkling and mischievously said, "Have fun in Tokyo. I will see you in the New Year. Goodbye." He had asked me to go to Japan to launch a MISC ship - Bunga Setawar - which was performed by Fauzah in Yokohama. It was nit just Razak was a great Prime Minister, he has been a friend of presidents, Prime Ministers, sultans as well as the kampung people and town folks who respected him for what he didi for them. Many legends have been created around his name. I know Malaysian history will fudge him a great Prime Minister but that depends on who writes the history. One of my cherished memories of my years with Razak was one particular visit along the Pahang river in mid 1960s'. He was touring upstream villages and sleeping in the Sultan of Pahang's houseboat. We have tramped perhaps forty miles through the mud and rain for three days meeting the riverine villagers. Leslie Hoffman, the editor-in-chief of Straits Times, who shared a cabin with me was exhausted by the protracted journey. He said jokingly be would sooner perish if we extended the visit another day. Razak was cool, did not appear to suffer from any form of fatigue. Though he did not need a walking stick, Razak always used one which beside his off-white bush jacket, became a Razakian trade mark. Hoffman, unused to rural life, found the sardine packed schedule hectic, which left him with little time to breath even though the eating and feasting as is the way of kampung hospitality fascinated him. I kept the spirits of the press up. Keeping them focused. Hoffman wrote an article of the trip in Straits Times Annual. I learned this good lesson from Razak, don't indulge to much in rhetoric when one would do better to get on with it. Every now and then in my waking ways, and especially when I am here in New York or London, I tend to look hard and impartially at everything, certainly without any implications of insincerity or exaggeration. Razak had one matchless blessing, enjoyed by many Malaysians; a happy family with a devoted wife and children. All boys and all are married except the second youngest, Nadzim, an architect, who is still looking around for a suitable bride. Who says it is easy yo find a life partner? I have a friend who has since married. He married late because the woman he loved was married. In the end he married a woman for convenience which blossomed into love and they lived happily ever after, as the saying goes. During my 14 years as his political secretary and deputy minister, Razak always treated me and my family with full consideration. There has never been any serious and irreconcilable political difference between him and me except on two occasions - the separation of Singapore and a certain event which followed the May 13, 1969 incident. A stunned Datuk Hussein Onn came to his great opportunity, and the grief of the people was mixed anxiety.